i normally don't rely on God for much... i normally pretend that i don't believe in Him... i normally give myself credit for what i do and blame myself for whatever negativity comes my way...
so i guess it's time for the abnormal... i feel a little greedy for asking for guidance only in the time of need... i never bothered thanking God for the normalcy that was once my life... so why should He help me when i ask?... i'm just an ungrateful person who desperately wants something to depend on...
so if there is a God, i hope He hears my prayers and helps me understand the events that have happened and the events that will unfold in the future...
i wouldn't call myself a religious person... but during these times i ask myself why certain things happen... which leads me to the belief that God intends for all things to happen... and only later will He reveal why...
maybe famine, terrorism, suicides, abortions are God's way of downsizing the population... even though the bible goes against it, God does work in mysterious ways... perhaps God intended for all the madness to occur to promote wellness later on...
i guess i'll never understand what religion is about or what faith is... but for the mean time, when i'm desperate for something to hold onto, i will grab onto prayer and hope God listens to some things i have to say...
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